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empatheias IC contact
[ amulet voice | amulet image | amulet text | mail | action ]
[Sans nominally resides in a small two-bedroom apartment on the outskirts of Verens' usual Otherworlder housing district, but is pretty much never at home. Mail sent to that address is unlikely to ever see the light of day again. Mail sent to an Enforcers office with his name on has a marginally better chance of reaching him, if not of being read in a timely fashion. Mail sent to him via his brother had the best chance of all, but only while Papyrus was still around.
It's somewhat easier to track down him down in person: his current job involves patrol routes all over Verens, and when not frequenting diners or comfortable sunny benches he often even does it. He also turns up in Shaarnath from time to time - usually by himself, usually for the food. Still, he rarely shows up in the same place twice on a given day.
(Please include a rough IC date in thread headers, but otherwise go wild! No need to preplan.)]
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[They barely jump when he appears. They've been bracing themselves for it ever since they got here. There's hesitation there, but it's for less than a fraction of a second. Their fingers don't unknot themselves from their lap, though.]
... you know I can Reset.
[It's not a question.]
I've been through the Underground three times.
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Three, huh?
[And to be fair, the number is news to Sans, sort of. There's no way he could have sussed out what went down that day from the kid's point of view without living it himself.]
Three's an okay number.
[Still - they're the one who wants to have it out, they can set the pace. He won't elaborate.]
And today on "I don't have an adequate icon for this"
The first time... I was so scared. The first person I met, he seemed so nice. But then he tried to... [They grab a fistful of air over where their soul would be and mime tearing it away from them, violently.] Mom saved me, and she took care of me. But she wanted me to stay there with her. I didn't know what to do, I didn't- I didn't feel like I was supposed to be there. But she tried to destroy the door and then we... We..,
[Their shoulders are shaking now, their face twisting with such anguish that the weather around them skips rain entirely and jumps to sleet.]
I thought it was what she wanted! Sh-she said to p-prove Icould s-survive but I didn't think she'd f-fight till she...
[Frisk almost never cries. Usually if they do show their pain or grief, they do it in other ways. They're crying now, big fat tears rolling down their chubby cheeks, as they shiver from something more than the sudden cold. As they remember a trembling voice telling them to be good.]
A-and U-Undyne and M-Mettaton and the others too... I didn't ever w-want to h-hurt anybody, I j-just didn't want to d-die. I'm sorry, I'm r-really, really s-s-sorry-
[If Sans has anything to say so far, now would be the time, while Frisk curls up miserably and tries to reign their emotions back in.]
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Less of the sudden unseasonal deluge lands on Sans than it should, although that's not his doing for once. It does, for a moment, appear to have extinguished his eyes. Look at this. This is where it begins.
... There's a name missing, even so. Rightly so.]
Uh. Y'know, I realise this isn't the best time to remind you... but I'm not in the judging business any more.
[He looks down, his grin unchanging. He trusts that they're still getting to their point one way or another. Trust is a funny thing.]
We all make mistakes. Isn't that right?
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[Any other time with any other person that might've- no. No it would never be comforting to call what happened mistakes. Even if they could go back. The idea just made something inside them squirm. It does pull them out of the worst of their grief, though they remain in a little cocoon of self-loathing.]
Wh-when I got to Asgore, he destroyed the Mercy button. I couldn't... No matter what I did he wouldn't listen. I died a lot. But at the end I did it anyway. I didn't want to hurt anybody anymore.
But then, Flowey killed him instead and took the human souls and- [Their throat closes and the sleet falls harder than ever, hard enough Frisk jumps off the tree branch, trying to shake themselves off, even as ice forms at their feet, marking their steps. At last they turn yo face Sans.]
We fought. [They refuse to elaborate.] We fought until the human souls fought against him too, and escaped.
I spared him too.
[The sleet slowly starts to morph into the more peaceable snow.]
He was so confused. He'd kept saying the world is kill or be killed. But then he said I'd shown him different, and if I could do it all without killing anybody, he'd show me how to get an ending where everyone would be happy.
[They hadn't known, at the time, whether to believe him or not. But they'd wanted to... So....]
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...They sure are taking their sweet time. Good thing he's never minded doing nothing.]
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So I did.
I did it all again. I died a lot. But I didn't hurt anybody. Then I faced him again and he said... That it wasn't enough. That I needed to make friends.
So I did that too. I made friends with Papyrus and Undyne and Alphys and y- the other you. And then when I faced Asgore again everyone tried to stop him.
But um... Flowey had lied, sort of. He took the human souls again and everyone else's and- [Here they pause again, but it's different from before. They can't reveal Asriel. They promised.]
We fought again, but it was different. I helped him... Remember things. And... And he stopped, and he used his power to break the barrier. Then he let everyone go. He had to stay behind, but he said he was okay with that. Then Mom asked me to stay and Asgore asked me to be ambassador.
[They take a deep breath. Let it go. Square their shoulders and look determined, even with tears still shining on their face.]
I don't want to reset anymore. I told you that and I mean it. All I wanted was a family again, and now I have one. I don't want to lose that.
And that's what happened. [They look down and away.] You can still be mad. Or hate me. But that's the truth.
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[They blatantly aren't. All the same, he's picked up one or two things between the halting words that might be worth remembering. So close, so damn close to making up his mind.
He straightens up to look back at them anyway, eyes bright and cold under his damp jacket hood.]
Goin' out on a limb here, but it sounds like you've wanted to unload this stuff on someone for a while. Like maybe you're not proud that this is where you're coming from...? Maybe that's a stretch. But I get ya there.
[By this point, none of the still-fluttering snow is touching him. Just as the individual flakes are about to land on him, they vanish - a few with a hiss, the majority with no sign that they existed at all.]
So, let me rephrase what I just said. Everyone makes mistakes... accidents, bad calls. Killer mistakes, sometimes. Ones where it kills you to just suck it up and keep going somehow. But that's all you can do.
Then there are the things that we can't call mistakes. Things that aren't so easily walked back.
[He shrugs, just as if that was another joke - just as if part of him, behind that flawless wall, isn't burning. Hell, let's just go.]
Do YOU want to hear the truth...? The truth is... those don't matter any more, either. Any more than the real mistakes. Look around us. We're still trapped on an island, but we've got the whole of the sky.
Why would it matter... what you left underground?
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I-
[They don't know what to say. They'd barely had any idea what to really say up until this point. Now they have none at all.
Instead of answering, they turn, taking a few steps to meet the shore of the lake. Kneeling down, they poke at the water. It freezes where their fingers meet, and, fascinated, Frisk does it a couple more times, creating small discs of ice that float away.
At last they look up.]
Because we can't forget what we left there.
[Because it matters to us.
Because it matters to you.
Because you matter to me.]
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He lets his silence stretch out a little, like the ice the kid is making on the surface of the after.
(Decision by decision, minute by minute, day by day.)]
Here's my advice. You don't have to take it. If you want a happy ending, the one where you come out on top...
[He grins mirthlessly.]
Quit while you're ahead. That's what I do.
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'maybe sometimes it's better to take what's given to you [...] is what you have to do really worth it?'
Those words. They weren't in the same order or quite the same intentions behind them maybe. But Frisk knows them. Frisk whirls around to stare at him, breath catching in their throat as the snow dies away completely.
'well, if I were you, I would have thrown in the towel by now.'
A smile spreads across their face, a wistful and hopeful thing all in one. Unbidden, small yellow flowers peek out from around their feet, covered in frost as they are. Frisk shakes their head.]
I don't think I can. I didn't... get this far by giving up, did I?
[Especially not on people they care about.]
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[Something flickers in Sans's eyesockets. It doesn't seem like they really get it, and he wouldn't yet have expected them to, but... they're happy with this anyway? What a freakin' weird kid.
Then again, why is he surprised? It's possible that they know him better than he knows himself. If they died as often as they claim, even this early on, that must be a lot more than just three times they skipped back and forth, to learn the shape of what was about to happen... He never had that luxury.
That's what they're going to need, he figures. A touch of guidance from people who are used to knowing a little less. Just a nudge before the point of no return.
Here's hoping they find someone else to give them that, then.
There's a tentative warmth in the air as the snow clears out of the way of the sunlight. It stings like hell, enough to make Sans give his jacket hood another tug. Thank goodness he doesn't have skin, or it might feel worse.]
I dunno, did you? According to you, I wasn't there.